Tag Archives: Blogging

Fuck you, Wordpress

Hello, Reader, and Goodbye, WordPress!

 

If you’ve visited my blog in the last few days, you’d have noticed there are some changes. For example, the blog is not a blog anymore, it is a website. *nods and flashes thumbs up to Captain Obvious*

I have moved out of my wordpress blog and gone solo. It is something I have been considering for the longest time. But to truly appreciate the background involved, let us go back in the past to how it all began.

 

Optical illusion

Bhubaneswar, 2007.

For two years, I had silently pursued a girl. She was in my class, but I had spoken a total of six words to her in two years – ARE. YOU. COMING. TO. THE. PICNIC?

She said ‘No’.

The two years came to an end, and I remember humming the sad version of the Kal Ho Na Ho title song when I last saw her.

I moved on to a college where the sex ratio was worse than Haryana’s, and had just about forgotten her, when Orkut happened. Suddenly, paying 20 rupees an hour had more meaning to it. Soon, said girl would appear once in a while on the web, send me two scraps on Orkut, and vanish for two weeks. Somewhere along the line, I realised she was reading the stuff I was posting on Orkut, on communities like ‘I luv ma Bachelor Lyf’.

Which was when I decided to start the blog.

This was because I knew she was reading my stuff.

I know. It’s like the Mark Zuckerberg story in The Social Network. Only difference being Zucky washes his ass with mineral water, while I have to save up to buy Baba Ramdev’s Kesh Kanti.

 

Be that as may, I decided to frequent an internet café to pursue my goal of having a blog. Finding an internet café to my liking was a task in itself. The café-porn industry had begun to decline. It was like the Mughal kingdom after Aurangzeb – VCDs and DVDs were hard to compete with.

So many of the internet cafes were mere reminiscent of the older golden days. Crammy cabins, the smell of body fluids, and general feeling of depression blanketing the place.

I finally found an internet café four kilometres away, and would walk to the place if I wanted to post something, paying 20 rupees an hour. Which was how the first version of my blog began – the one on blogger.com

 

While Google is an online giant today, it has produced a string of products that are well and truly shitty. Google Wave, Google Buzz, Google Plus, etc.

Sitting on top of the list, is their older blogging platform – blogger.com

The entire site was laggy, and looked like the bedroom of a drunk lunatic. Pale yellow text on a black background, fonts that made you question your existence on earth. A writing platform is supposed to inspire you to write. Blogger, I assume, is responsible for half the content on indiansexstories.com

I struggled with Blogger for about four years, when WordPress began to pop up as a platform.

 

WordPress was everything Blogger wasn’t.

It was white, clean, possessing the aesthetics that my writing could relate to.

This was the time of the Anna Hazare revolution. Blogging suddenly rose from writing poems about sunsets, to matters that people actually gave a fuck about.

It was also the time when I began to get decent hits, and the blog became a cooler, alter ego of my own self. Things were going well.

Well, almost.

 

For you see, WordPress has its issues as well.

For the millions of hits I earned them for four years, I got nothing in return. Unless of course, you count the drunken messages – Bro, you rock! I connect you, bro. Peace!

And I had no control over what WordPress would do with the site.

For example, I would write a blog on Feminism, only to have an ad pop up at the end – ‘Seduce everybody at your workplace – BoobyMaya.com – the best undergarment online store.

 

I have been trying to leave WordPress for a bit, and here’s a thing.

WordPress is like Hotel California. It’s beautiful when you get in, but try to leave, and you realise you can’t.

As soon as you start checking out the process to leave, you realise you are Abhimanyu in the Chakravyuh. WordPress asks you to shell out for exporting your content, for updating your subscribers list, for transferring your followers, even for quietly sitting in the corner and picking your nose.

 

After about a year of flirting with the idea, and with the generous assistance of a friend, and bountiful blessings of Lord Shiva, I have finally moved on to a site of my own.

I envisage it as a one stop platform for my writing, stand up work, and freelance writing assignments.

I know how terribly boring that sounds on paper, but I’ll try to keep it interesting.

So, that’s all I wanted to say. Please have a look at this site. Look at it like a pissed off Chemistry teacher who is correcting Unit Tests for Class 10 students. And let me know what you think.

Good bye, Reader.
And fuck you, WordPress.