Manmarziyan-Movie-Review

Manmarziyan is Anurag Kashyap’s least engaging movie

Most Indian critics say the same things.

Have you ever noticed how Rajeev Masand and Anupama Chopra seem like siblings, freakily saying the same thing? This film was hailed as Anurag Kashyap’s entry into the ‘love’ territory. A film where Anurag Kashyap steps out from the dark, psychopath-filled by-lanes and steps into the blue and red hues of Bollywood pyar.

I don’t understand how we became a nation of love consumers? Why are most of our films about love, the loss of love, craving for love, the need for love, the virtue of love – how much fucking love do you guys need? Has anybody asked the people if they want to see this much love? Maybe Indians want to see other stuff – gripping political dramas, slithering, twisted mysteries. Who the fuck decided ki they will bombard Indians with all this love?

And Anurag Kashyap, who was the only guy flowing against the tide – goes ahead and makes Manmarziyan. The most pointless film of the year. We already have so many love triangles. Every third movie is a love triangle. We have movies with the golden ratio where three heroes have three love triangles. We have so many love triangles, I am surprised we didn’t invent the fucking pyramids. Then, what pray, was the need for another love triangle?

This is also the first time that Kashyap hasn’t written the story himself. The film is written by Kanika Dhillon – the script is everything you do not associate with a Kashyap film. It’s slow, boring and predictable.

Kashyap’s films have love stories in them – and while they are not conventional and sappy – they are unbridled in their passion. Dev and Chanda from DevD for example, brought to life by a haunting theme by Amit Trivedi. Or Sardar Khan’s tormented, fatal flings. Kashyap has always dealt in love, just not in the currency that Bollywood operates in.

Vicky Kaushal who is in Kohli-like form at the moment, gets a step-motherly treatment from the writers. A superb portrayal is caged within the boundaries of lazy writing. Tapsee Pannu gets the meatiest role, but the character seems to be just another Anand L. Rai character. Here too, an earnest portrayal is locked withing a KanganaRanautish role. Nearly every shade of fiery, independent woman role has already been portrayed by Kangana. And in hindsight, she has done them all so uniquely, that every actress today seems to mimic her in some sense.

The real shit-show in the film though, is Abhishek Bachchan. The guy can’t fucking act. I wonder how many more films he is going to act in, how many more millions of dollars are going to be burnt till people politely ask him to fuck off?

Watch any interview, and he sounds like he is the protege of Marlon Brando. An accent that is shakier than his acting, and the smug confidence of someone who’s the shizzz. It is unbelievable that after more than 20 flops in 18 years, this guy is still allowed to hang out around film studios. His acting is still like a stoned high-school kid. Honestly, you can draw out a clip from Dhai Akshar Prem Ke, or Kuchh Na Kaho, and there’s literally no change in voice modulation, posture or dialogue delivery.

Most reviewers spoke about how he has to use his stares and silences to play he is role. What they don’t tell you is that the film that had been racing on steroids suddenly grinds to a halt everytime he appears on screen. That he takes a frothing, bubbling film and transforms it into an experience as exciting as jacking off AK Hangal.

Ask any ‘fan’, and the only films they will mention are ‘Guru’ and ‘Yuva’. Both Mani Ratnam films made greater by stunning Rahman soundtracks, and frankly, strictly above-average acting. What they don’t mention are shit-fests that bombed louder than Kim-il-Jong’s nuclear missiles. Shararat and Zameen and Mumbai Se Aaya Mera Dost. I doubt there’s anybody else in world cinema who keeps getting movies after delivering as many flops as this guy.

I wish like the #MeToo campaign, there was a #HeToo campaign, where people on Twitter got together and asked shit-actors to fuck off. For an industry that survives so much on commercialisation and economics, I am appalled how morality and personal life is used as a barometer of an artist’s work, and not market dynamics, economics, and actual fucking skills.

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If there’s one person my heart goes out to, it is Amit Trivedi.

He has been loyal to the Kashyap camp, always choosing smaller films with a soul and a story. Unfortunately, even with immense skills as his, he has been unable to crack the A-listers’ market. While people like Pritam Chakraborty win awards and fame by lifting songs from Papua New Guinea, Indonesia and Mars.

Give Manmarziyan a miss if you are not an Anurag Kashyap fan. If you are a fan, stay the fuck away from this hogwash of a film. It will ruin your image of the man.

Give me the dark, brooding Anurag Kashyap any day. Not these diluted ORS solutions in collaboration with Karan Johar and Anand L. Rai. I rarely walk out of films, but I walked out of Manmarziyan simply because of how frustrating the film was. A member of the opposite gender had pinged me on Tinder. And I was confident I would perform better than fucking Abhishek Bachchan was!

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7 thoughts on “Manmarziyan is Anurag Kashyap’s least engaging movie

  1. Aastha

    Loved your reviews , but frankly I didn’t hate ABjr so much. What annoyed me we’re pointless details that they kept dropping that turned out to be inconsequential. Example: The fact she was a hockey player but quit coz of her boyfriend, that she lost her parents at an early age etc
    She could had been a basketball player/ a cricketer but why hockey! The dhyanchand song? They must have first made the song then thought of just building the story from there. And why were details of the brother of bride doing his MBA were given? Why was the dadaji’s role so inconsequential?! Why was Abhishek in india for so long? Was he really a door keeper at the bank in London?!?! I just found myself looking for some meaning/ logic/ sensibility throughout the movie. But it was all so lose

    Reply
  2. Mahendra

    Anurag Kashyap did not make the film with your money. So fuck off man, why so much botheration about his choice of film making? You are an absolute jerk

    Reply
    1. Hriday Ranjan Post author

      Hey! I’m a huge Anurag fan and was highly disappointed. Probably that’s why the rant. He didn’t make it with my money, but he made it for people to watch, and I watched with my own money. Hence 🙂

      Reply
  3. Phukeri

    Haha amazing review man! There should also be a twitter campaign to make AK promise he will never collaborate with KJo for anything at all. First it was Bombay Velvet and now this.

    Reply
  4. Anu

    I love your blogs (favorite being the one on Padmavat). I think you were a little too unfair to AB jr in this one. Yes he isn’t the best, but wasn’t the shittiest either. You forgot to mention the worst part of the movie and that was the painfully indecisive nature of the three leads. Yes the name of the film was manmarziyan, but I couldn’t bear with the fact that I have to pay for this nonsensical whims of their perennially uncertain minds..
    anyways, keep writing and entertaining.

    Reply

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