What is it with insurance advertisements in our country? I liked the one which had rupee notes falling off trees. That one was a childhood fantasy, but the others seemed like a trap. They show you the promise of a good life, followed by an InsureanceisthesubjectmatterofsolicitationPleasereadtheofferdocumentcarefullybeforeinvesting. I understand there is cut-throat competition in the industry and all that, but why are they hell bent on using scare-tactics so that we run and get ourselves one of their panaceas for a happily-ever after life?
As it is, the earlier ads were an eye sore. There is this one ad in which a kid goes around the house saying ‘Statue’ to everything. When her had asks her the reason, she says, “Papa, ab kuchh nahi badlega”. I mean, what do you expect? Your audience has the intelligence levels of an anteater?
The there was that one with this kid with a bad hairstyle which talks too much. “Papa, kya aap mere future ke baare mein soche hain?” Which child talks to his father like that? They are more into video games/clothes/latest mobiles, that kind of stuff. Future? Really?? Bad research, dude. They are children. They don’t bother about that their future.
But the recent ad from HDFC just takes things to a different sphere of what-the-fuckness.
There is this guy who is leaving on some tour. Next to him is his ‘friend’. Now, if you were leaving somewhere and someone was coming to see off, what would you expect him to do? Wish you good luck, give you a hug, promise to call, that kind of stuff. No? This dude has to sell you insurance. He has to sound like a pain in the ass. How else can he do it?
So, our guy is about to leave and is in the taxi. He takes out some money that he forgot to give his wife. Hint 1 that he is leading a good life: His wife doesn’t control his finances. On careful observation, he has about ten notes in his wallet, of which he takes out 3-4 for his wife. Hint 2: He is not miserly with his wife.
The ‘friend’ takes the money and then asks, “Listen, dude. What if you don’t come back for a week?”
“You are right. Here’s some more.” You can see the glint in his eye as he takes the additional amount of money. Not to be satisfied, he goes on.
“Listen, what if you don’t come for a month.”
“Haha, you got to be kidding.”
(Our insurance selling dickhead pauses for effect)
“What if you never return? Will this money be enough for your wife?”
ONE TIGHT SLAP!! “Get the fuck out of the car. You are eyeing my wife, and you are a pessimistic-fatalist-death predicting-cheapskate insurance seller who exploits his friends”. In normal life that is. But no, not happening here.
Our guy falls for the moron’s lame efforts and his head is bent with sorrow. He has to go on a trip, mind you. Then, wise insurance guy says, “Sar jhukake kyun baitha hai yaar?”
Well, let me guess. He is going away from his wife and kids, has forgotten to give them some money. His friend is probably eyeing his wife, and is basically being a dick. Isi liye sar jhukake baitha hai.
Wise insurance guy then tells him, “Sar utha ke jiyo”. What exactly is this ‘Sar uthake jiyo’ wala funda? I am not covered by any insurance and if I die, my family will only inherit lots of diaries and unwashed clothes. But I don’t walk with my head stooped down in sorrow. And do people who have their lives covered walk with their head held high, like cranes? Absolute rubbish, I say.